It's been a while, yet there is so much that has been on my heart.
One thing in particular that has been eating at me for some time is how I perceive myself when looking at a mirror. I've noticed that different mirrors make me look different ways. There are some mirrors that seem to point out my every flaw, don't reflect light very well (or too well); or maybe it is the lighting in the room the causes the difference or the angle of the mirror. Some mirrors I think make me look better than others, highlighting the colors in my hair, the shape of my face, the slimness of my figure.
And I am always left wondering: what do I actually look like?
What do other people see when they look at me?
Do they see me as the reflection of the bad mirror or the good mirror?
I decided to dig a little deeper.
According to Merriam and Webster, reflection has multiple meanings:
: an image that is seen in a mirror or on a shiny surface
: something that shows the effect, existence, or character of something else
Something that shows the existence or character of something else.
When I look in the mirror, I see my reflection as stated in the first definition. But what I really should be seeing, and what I want people to see when they look at me, is my existence and my character. True beauty is more than what is visible.
We all posses beauty in the fact that we exist.
When people look at me, I want them to see a good reflection of my character. My strength, my compassion, my love for humanity, my awe and wonder at the beautiful creation we live in. I don't want them to see the bad reflection: my short temper, my anxiety, my gravitation toward cynicism. Yet these are all components of my existence.
My challenge is this: to look in the mirror and not simply see an image, but to look further at the reflection of my character that day. How can I make the good outshine the bad? How could I have loved better? Was I grateful today? Did I experience real emotions or did I stifle them out of fear? Have I lived life to the fullest...
I think that is where true beauty is found. Only then will I see a reflection that I am proud to have other people see as well. I pray to live my life as a reflection of the One who gave me life, to love with His heart, and to experience the fullness of life with His breathe in my lungs.