Real women are strong women

I saw something once that really frustrated me (for more reason than one). It said something to the effect of "Girls who are naturally skinny are lucky. Girls who have to fight to be skinny are strong"

First of all, I hate that women feel like the have to be a certain way. That in itself is complete crap. But on top of that, this statement frustrated me because I am probably one of those girls that, looking at me, you would think I am a lucky one. I have always been on the thinner side, even in those times I thought I was as big as a house. But in reality, I don't feel "lucky".

Sure, it is nice to have people complement your figure, tell you how beautiful you are, but after a while, you feel like that is all you have become. A body.  A pretty face.

I don't feel lucky to be constantly so concerned with my body and what size my clothes are. I don't feel lucky to have once struggled so much with eating that I tried losing more weight than I could afford. And now, because of that, this is just the state of my body. I will always be small. Does this mean I am not a strong person because I am "lucky" to be thin? The grass is not always greener.

And then there is the argument about "real women". We need real women models, not these skinny models that do not portray reality. No one is that size. While I understand the sentiment in statements such as this, and it is important to display women of more shapes and sizes than just thin, what does that say to those models? To women that maybe are that size? Are they less of a woman because they have bought into the lies of the culture, because they believed too much that they needed to be thin to be beautiful? Are they not real, too?

If you are a woman who is confident in your body, confident with your size, then truly, I applaud you. It does indeed take great strength to rise above the lies that society tells us as women, and to embrace the body that you are blessed with. And sure, we all have good days and bad days, but you are defeating the body image battle, and it is a beautiful thing. Activists who are out there promoting awareness on this fault of our culture constantly praise celebrities who speak out about loving their "fuller figures", calling them real women, strong women, beautiful women.

And where does that leave those of us who maybe don't love our bodies as much, who maybe relate more to those celebrities who are "too thin"? Feeling weak, 'unreal', and defeated by the body image battle.

Praise God that He has brought me through so much healing that I no longer struggle as much. But let's not forget our sisters (and brothers) who do struggle, who have a hard time seeing that their beauty and worth lies so much beyond a number on a scale. Yes, there is strength in confidence, but there is also strength in the struggle. Strength in the pain, the sorrow, the disgust. Maybe looking at someone and thinking they have it easy because they are thin is not actually true. We are fighting too.

In truth, at the end of the day, we are all fighting. No matter our size, no matter our shape, we are all trying to be beautiful in our own way and learning to love our selves. Some of us are better at it than others, and that is ok. I know people mean well, but maybe instead of just calling some women beautiful and strong and real, remind every person that they are indeed those things and so much more. Even if you may think they simply have more luck.

**Edit: I am aware that many women have been "Photoshopped" in photographs, so that is where the concept of 'real women' may come from, however I think the above is still something that needs to be discussed. Just adding a different perspective to the discussion :) 

Remember Lot's wife...

I've been doing a 'Bible study' of sorts with She Reads Truth which sends you the Scripture and a reflection in your inbox. Very cool and convenient :) This particular study is about Women in the Bible. Even though I have heard all of these stories before, they seem to have come at a perfect time where I needed to be reminded of them the most.

One of the women I am doing my best to learn from is Sarai, Abraham's wife (later to be known as Sarah). For whatever reason, the Lord made it impossible for her to get pregnant. She and Abram lived their married life without conceiving. And she got tired of waiting on the Lord, so sent her servant Hagar to conceive with Abram so that they could have a son to carry on their family. Now, this isn't really the typical way things happen these days, but much can be learned from this situation. Because in the end, Hagar was resentful toward Sarai and no one was really happy with what happened. It was just bad news. Eventually Hagar and her son even got sent into the desert... but that is more to the story you can read in Genesis! 

So what is my point here? Sometimes we get tired of waiting on the Lord and don't understand what the heck He is doing, so we try to take matters into our own hands. I am guilty of doing this occasionally all the time. I get frustrated, I get tired of waiting to see what He is going to do, and so I try to do things on my own...and let me tell you, it never ends well. So I'm trying to learn from Sarai's impatience and try to be more trusting. But hey, in the end, God still loved Sarah and gave her a son in her old age. Good things come to those who wait! 

The second woman I am learning from is Lot's wife. I can't remember if the poor woman's name was ever mentioned, but almost everyone knows the story of the woman who turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back on her home being destroyed when she was specifically told not to. Even though the Lord saved their family from destruction and called them out of the city, she still looked back. Now typically whole cities these days are not lit up and bombed by the Heavens. But what do Sodom and Gomorrah represent? They represent sin, evil, immorality...all the crap in our past that maybe we are still holding on to. Maybe we look back because we are still struggling, maybe the temptation is too strong for us, maybe we look back because we just aren't ready to let go, and maybe we aren't as strongly focused on the Lord as we should be. Because if we were really walking in trust with Him, we wouldn't want to look back. We would know the Glory that awaits us if we were to keep pressing onward and not look back on our own Sodom and Gomorrah. When He calls us in His mercy from a life of sin, we need to run straight to Him, never looking back. 

"Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it." -Luke 17: 32-33

Fictional love or real love?

"You want a man, who will lead you down the beach, with his hand over your eyes, just so you can discover the feel of the sand beneath your feet. You want a guy, who will wake you up a dawn, just bursting to talk to you, he can't wait another minute just to find out what you'll say. Am I right?"

I was watching Runaway Bride for the first time today (classic... I don't know why I've never seen it) and this quote just really hit me at my core. What girl wouldn't want a man like this? At first I just tried to shake off the feelings that this moment in the movie evoked by telling myself that this kind of love only exists in movies. At least that is what Hollywood always tries to tell us. They come up with these elaborate tales of men who drop everything that they are doing, simply to see their one true love again. Men who walk for days in the rain, men who give up their dreams because they know that their dreams mean nothing if they are alone, men who will do anything, just to see her smile... I'm sure you can name many more of your favorite romance scenes. But we all think Oh, this could never happen to me.... what guy would want to give up his life for me.... that kind of love doesn't exists. And so, all too often, we settle. We settle for whatever guy happens to give us the slightest bit of attention. Sure, maybe he is a really awesome guy and there is nothing 'wrong' with him, but does he hang on your every word? Does he constantly tell you how much he loves you? How beautiful you are? How you are the best thing that has ever happened to him? My challenge to all of you in the dating world is this: don't settle. 

Women: You are the crown of creation. Don't be afraid to set some kind of standards. Sooner or later, someone will come along who will realize your worth and your dignity and fight for it. I'm not saying you have to wait for "Mr. Perfect", but wait for someone who will really pursue you and figure out what makes you you. Trust me, it will be hard. You're going to get tired of waiting, you're going to hurt, you're going to want to give up. But keep fighting. It will be well worth it in the end. And it's amazing just how much boys turn into men when you make them work for your heart. Allowing a man to pursue you doesn't make you weak: it makes you strong because you know what you deserve.

Men: Fight for your women. Be bold. Don't be afraid to say no to a girl who is simply seeking attention from you. It's not fair to you either. Beware of the fine line of giving your all to a woman, and letting her walk all over you. We need to be called on as well. Set your own standards and allow them to influence the way you pursue and look after the women you love. Recognize the beauty that is before you. Cherish her. It is said that the Trojan War was started because of Helen, a woman, so beautiful, that the Greeks wanted to win her back from the Trojans who had taken her as their queen. If you want to pursue a woman, fight for her... literally or figuratively... We all just want to be "the face that launched 1,000 ships."

All I'm trying to say, is that while finding love isn't easy, that doesn't mean it's not real. I certainly have my fair share of cynicism, but I know that it is only because I'm afraid I won't find it. It's out there somewhere. And until then, I pray that the Lord will guide me and reveal pieces of my story in His own timing. He will lead you too if you ask Him. Allow Him to write your love story for you, and I can guarantee that it will be better than anything you could have come up with on your own. The way I look at it, if you haven't been successful yet, then what is there to lose?