Real women are strong women

I saw something once that really frustrated me (for more reason than one). It said something to the effect of "Girls who are naturally skinny are lucky. Girls who have to fight to be skinny are strong"

First of all, I hate that women feel like the have to be a certain way. That in itself is complete crap. But on top of that, this statement frustrated me because I am probably one of those girls that, looking at me, you would think I am a lucky one. I have always been on the thinner side, even in those times I thought I was as big as a house. But in reality, I don't feel "lucky".

Sure, it is nice to have people complement your figure, tell you how beautiful you are, but after a while, you feel like that is all you have become. A body.  A pretty face.

I don't feel lucky to be constantly so concerned with my body and what size my clothes are. I don't feel lucky to have once struggled so much with eating that I tried losing more weight than I could afford. And now, because of that, this is just the state of my body. I will always be small. Does this mean I am not a strong person because I am "lucky" to be thin? The grass is not always greener.

And then there is the argument about "real women". We need real women models, not these skinny models that do not portray reality. No one is that size. While I understand the sentiment in statements such as this, and it is important to display women of more shapes and sizes than just thin, what does that say to those models? To women that maybe are that size? Are they less of a woman because they have bought into the lies of the culture, because they believed too much that they needed to be thin to be beautiful? Are they not real, too?

If you are a woman who is confident in your body, confident with your size, then truly, I applaud you. It does indeed take great strength to rise above the lies that society tells us as women, and to embrace the body that you are blessed with. And sure, we all have good days and bad days, but you are defeating the body image battle, and it is a beautiful thing. Activists who are out there promoting awareness on this fault of our culture constantly praise celebrities who speak out about loving their "fuller figures", calling them real women, strong women, beautiful women.

And where does that leave those of us who maybe don't love our bodies as much, who maybe relate more to those celebrities who are "too thin"? Feeling weak, 'unreal', and defeated by the body image battle.

Praise God that He has brought me through so much healing that I no longer struggle as much. But let's not forget our sisters (and brothers) who do struggle, who have a hard time seeing that their beauty and worth lies so much beyond a number on a scale. Yes, there is strength in confidence, but there is also strength in the struggle. Strength in the pain, the sorrow, the disgust. Maybe looking at someone and thinking they have it easy because they are thin is not actually true. We are fighting too.

In truth, at the end of the day, we are all fighting. No matter our size, no matter our shape, we are all trying to be beautiful in our own way and learning to love our selves. Some of us are better at it than others, and that is ok. I know people mean well, but maybe instead of just calling some women beautiful and strong and real, remind every person that they are indeed those things and so much more. Even if you may think they simply have more luck.

**Edit: I am aware that many women have been "Photoshopped" in photographs, so that is where the concept of 'real women' may come from, however I think the above is still something that needs to be discussed. Just adding a different perspective to the discussion :) 

NED Awareness Week

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. Having been on all different sides of this illness (the one struggling, the one helping a friend, the one sitting in Counseling classes), I know just how dangerous this disorder can be. It also seems to be one of the most misunderstood disorders, and also the most hidden. In fact, it is the most lethal of all mental health diagnoses.

Here are some facts, resources, and also some of my favorite organizations if you or someone you know is struggling.

• "Up to 24 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder) in the U.S."
• "Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness"
• "25% of college-aged women engage in bingeing and purging as a weight-management technique"
• "Anorexia is the third most common chronic illness among adolescents"

- Sources and more stats here

As you can see, this is a huge problem. 

Click on the picture to enlarge. There are more infographics here.

http://nedawareness.org/about-eating-disorders 

Of course, there is Eating Disorders Anonymous which has TONS of resources on their site, as well as packets to start your own support group.

My all time favorite though would have to be Made in His Image. They have since branched out from speaking on strictly eating disorders, but they provide frequent blog posts on femininity, being your authentic self, healing, and recently added a section geared toward men. There is so much more than just these topics though, all from a perspective of finding your worth in Christ. It really is such a beautiful ministry. I highly recommend checking it out, even if you aren't struggling! Anyone could use the truths that they convey.

My hope in providing awareness about this illness is that those who are suffering will know that they are not alone, and that there is hope and healing to be found! Also so that people can recognize symptoms in those around them and have the courage to speak up. Together, we can defeat the ramifications of our culture and help one another to realize our worth and beauty.

Note: I am happy to answer any questions or provide more resources if anyone is interested. 

An exercise in beauty

Laura over at Catholic Cravings came up with this idea to write a poem about our beauty. She provided the template and we fill in the blanks. I decided it would be a good exercise for me in seeing my beauty. Not gonna lie, it was awkward writing this, and I feel even more awkward that people might read it, but I think it is good. No, it is necessary. It is so important that women realize they are beautiful in their own ways. We should not be afraid to be beautiful. We shouldn't feel like we are being prideful in recognizing our beauty. Beauty is innate in all of us.  I highly suggest writing a poem for yourself, even if you want to just to it privately. It helps you to realize a lot. So without further ado, here is my poem. 

I am beautiful.

I am beautiful because I am made in the image of God, who makes me strong when I am weak. I am beautiful inside and out, for He didn’t just make my soul but my body too. All of me, body and soul, is His image. 

I am beautiful because my hair is thick and wavy, my eyes are big and deep; they remind me of how strong and thoughtful I am. 

And because I play 3 instruments.

I was beautiful when I would sit on the swing with my grandma and listen to her singing.

I am beautiful because my skin is flawed and my wrists are weak.

I am beautiful like sun beams in the woods on a Fall day.

I am beautiful when I smile.

I am beautiful when I receive Holy Communion and when I am singing praise and worship. I am beautiful when I laugh and when I mourn, when I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, whispering  'For the sake of His sorrowful passion' to Him who is so beautiful. 

I am beautiful when I wear my one shoulder black dress and pearl earrings.

I was beautiful even when I did not see it. Though I bought into the lies that I wasn't good enough, I was beautiful.

I am beautiful still.

I don’t know whether my eyes are doves behind my veil, or my hair like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. But in my own way, my own Maggie-way, I am beautiful. Perhaps, I am beautiful like a vintage photograph or like waves crashing against the shore at sunset.

I am definitely not beautiful because I am perfect. I am not perfect, inwardly or outwardly. I have flaws enough.

But I am beautiful.

For I am loved by God, and love is in my heart, and where there is love:

there is beauty.

*********And here is the template for anyone wishing to do their own!***********

I am beautiful.

I am beautiful because I am made in the image of God, who [quote or paraphrase a  bit of your favourite bible verse1 ]. I am beautiful inside and out, for He didn’t just make my soul but my body too. All of me, body and soul, is His image. 

I am beautiful because my [a feature I like about yourself] is/are [two descriptive words]. [x3]: [describe how they remind you of you] as I am. 

And because [something that's an odd quirk you have or trick you can do].

I was beautiful when [one of your earliest memory].

I am beautiful because [describe two things you don't like about your body].

I am beautiful like [a favourite thing] in [your favourite place] on a [your favourite season] day/night.

I am beautiful when I smile.

I am beautiful when I receive Holy Communion and [favourite thing about being a Christian]. I am beautiful when I laugh and when I mourn, when I pray the [favourite prayer], whispering [favourite bit from that prayer] to Him/her who is so beautiful. 

I am beautiful when I wear my [fun thing to wear] and [favourite piece of jewelry].

I was beautiful even when I did not see it. Though I [describe any negative body image but only if you want], I was beautiful.

I am beautiful still.

I don’t know whether my eyes are doves behind my veil, or my hair like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. But in my own way, my own [name]-way, I am beautiful. Perhaps, I am beautiful like a [beautiful man-made object you can see] or like a [beautiful natural thing or moment you can see].

I am definitely not beautiful because I am perfect. I am not perfect, inwardly or outwardly. I have flaws enough.

But I am beautiful.

For I am loved by God, and love is in my heart, and where there is love:

there is beauty.

NAS: Beauty

Blogging back with the Not Alone Series this week! I have been sick, so that is why I am a day late with this post. (disclaimer: I am still pretty sick so forgive me if this is incoherent!)

This week topic is beauty. Always a good topic to discuss! I have really struggled with this, in seeing my own beauty. As someone who as struggled severely with body image in unhealthy ways, this is something that I have had to learn and am still trying to fully understand: the beauty of my self. I think it is something we can never fully comprehend, but it is something that I wish to know more about. 

One thing I had to learn was not to be afraid of being beautiful. I think because my beauty was misused in the past, it was something that I have tried to hide. I was uncomfortable with compliments even though I yearned for them so much. I always thought that being beautiful would lead me down a dark path. I have since learned though that beauty is a GOOD thing. And my concept of beauty, for too long, had only been on the surface. 

I learned that there is so much more to beauty. Beauty is kindness, gentleness, compassion. Beauty is the self-sacrificing love between two people. Beauty is service. Beauty is radiated through someone's smile. Beauty is found when we are being authentically ourselves. This is probably one of my favorite quotes about beauty that I just recently found (and already posted it  here on my blog) but I am going to do it again in case you missed it :) 

How profound is that? If we could really see ourselves through the eyes of others, through the eyes of Christ,  I think we would find ourselves to be much more beautiful than we think we are. If you think about it, the human person is so complex, so intricate, that it is beautiful in and of itself. There is so much depth to a person. The human person is beauty, because it is made in the image and likeness of God, and God is Beauty. Therefore, I am beautiful solely because I exist, but also in the ways that I am unique. The ways I am truly myself.  

I hope and pray that everyone may come to know how beautiful they truly are! Can't wait to read what everyone else has to say on this topic :) 

You are Beautiful.

Part of my goals for this year is to read more. And with that, you might find me posting little snippets on this blog of things that were particularly inspiring, thought-provoking, or just fun. Anyways, this is not really anything lengthy, but still I read and took in every detail of this post. It is from the Healthy is the New Skinny initiative (which is awesome in and of itself). Courtesy of Instagram. 

 I LOVE this. It is so true, and really got me thinking a lot about the way I see myself.  It definitely made me smile. Happy Friday to all :)