NAS: Deal Breakers

We have all thought about our list of qualities for our future spouse (and maybe even religious community), but sometimes those can be pretty limiting on who God has planned for you. Instead, maybe think about the few things that are so important to you, that if a guy you were considering dating (or community you were entering) didn't have those things, you would have to move on. Why are those things important to you? 

I don't know that I have specific things that are deal breakers. I used to have this list of qualities that I would want in a relationship, but I have since done away with that. Not because I am going to settle, but because I decided not to have restrictions on God's providence. I know that I would not be as Catholic as I am now if I hadn't gone to school at Franciscan University, and I recognize that not everyone has been blessed with that same opportunity. I've also come to realize more and more that they are good men out there, that maybe are only Catholic in name or are some other Christian denomination. And that is ok! I am open to being used by God to bring someone closer to His Church, even if that means dating someone who is not Catholic. I would probably draw the line at being an Atheist, but hey, if he is a good, loving person and open to learning about my faith and letting me be who I am, then I would be probably alright with that. Would I be on my knees every day praying for his conversion? Of course. But if God calls me to that kind of relationship, I am up for the challenge. I don't really think He is calling me to that, but I am ready and willing if He is. It is important though to always check myself and find the balance between settling and being too picky. And of course discern each situation as it comes. I am confident that I am strong enough in my love for the Lord and in my faith that He wouldn't lead me to a bad relationship that I get sucked down by. And even when I may feel weak or tempted to be led astray, He is strong and so merciful.

By what I said above, it may surprise you to know that I am actually very picky when it comes to men. But I am picky in a very petty, surface level way that I am trying to work on. There is nothing specific, but usually I can tell right away if I will be able to like someone or not. I always seem to find a list of things that annoy me, but maybe that is just my way of weeding out the people that aren't right for my personality. I guess I'll know I found the one when I don't start making those lists in my head! Or at least the pros will outweigh the cons ;)

Hope everyone has a great week! Can't wait to read what the rest of you have to say over at Jen's!

NAS: Bucket list

What are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!

I wouldn't say that I have a "singe life" bucket list... most of the things I want to do in my life are things I could do at any point. I guess there are a few things though that might be more difficult once children would come along. So here is my "single or married but before children" bucket list ;) 

1) Finish writing a book
2) Ride in a hot air balloon
3) Do more mission work! This is a big one. Whether it be short or long term, and I am totally open to doing mission work with a family. Whatever the Lord calls me to! This has been on my heart a lot lately.
4) Run a half marathon (Pittsburgh 2015!)
5) Travel, travel, travel. There is so much of the world that I want to see! I have friends in almost any state, so why not pay some visits? 

Anyways, that is about all I've got. I'm not much of a list maker. My philosophy on life is that I go wherever the wind (or Spirit) leads! Embracing my inner hipper ;)

Looking forward to reading what everyone else has to say and maybe gaining some inspiration!

NAS: Masculinity

Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? 

What is it about them that you love?

Linking up with the NAS again!

Basically, I'm gonna let the men speak for themselves on this one. I had been talking to a guy off and on last year (hate using the phrase 'talking', but that applies here haha), and long story short, he started dating someone around the holidays. I really wasn't invested in this friendship at all because of how sporadic our conversations were, but nevertheless, it was still very kind of him to let me know he was dating someone and that was why he had stopped contacting me. To me, true masculinity encompasses  being honest and speaking truth to our worth and dignity as women. Someone who is able to protect our femininity.

I'll just leave you with part of what he sent to me. For privacy, I am not including his name or how I know him, but I hope that all women reading this will take his words to heart and know they are true for each of us.  

"You seem like a really great girl and I know you will find someone great if you just keep centered on your faith and pray about it, God will help you meet someone great! Don't ever doubt that either! You are awesome and a guy would be lucky to have you, so don't settle for less than someone who is a good Christian man who respects you and treats you right! And remember, the right guy will like you just how you are, and love that you're faith is so important to you because it will be important to him too. I wish you the best of luck though! Keep praying and God will help you meet someone :) " (emphasis added)

I honestly was floored by this. This man owed nothing to me, he could have just stopped talking to me and let me wonder what happened, like so many have done before. Instead though, he manned up and decided to be honest with me about the situation that had unfolded, and at the same time, encouraged me to keep strong in my faith and not to settle. I don't think he realized just how important these words were to me. I hope you are comforted and encouraged by them as well. Happy Tuesday!

NAS: Valentines Day

What are your thoughts about Valentine's Day? Do you enjoy it? Loathe it? Not even realize it's a special day? Do you celebrate it in any way? 

Linking up with the Not Alone Series again!

Honestly, I am not the biggest fan of Valentine's day. I think because I have always associated it with being a purely romantic holiday. However, I have, in the past couple years, also been learning to celebrate all the loved ones in my life! This Valentine's day I think was particularly difficult because of a few outside factors. The main one is that I have moved away from most of my friends, so I really did not even have them to celebrate with. I would have normally hung out with my best girl friends, greatly enjoying their company, but this year I spent the day working (particularly longgg day at work!) and then going home to my little sister's sleepover party haha. I must say though, that I do enjoy the excuses to eat chocolate and wear pink heart earrings. And my little brother and I watched Star Wars. So that was fun :) 

My biggest problem with Valentine's day this year though was social media. It was just wayy over the top, in my opinion. Between the Instagrams of flowers and couples, to the cheesy in-depth Facebook statuses about how wonderful my "girlfriend/boyfriend" is, I found myself getting very annoyed and vowed to myself that I will (try my hardest) to never be that person! Let's see how well that pans out in the future... feel free to hold me accountable ;) It really kind of made me take a step back from Social Media and, while I am a HUGE supporter of it, made me rethink about how much I want to reveal on the social media sphere, and what may or may not be appropriate to flaunt for all to see. And what are people's motives for posting these things? But these are thoughts for another day perhaps....

Looking forward to reading what other's have to say on this topic! 

NAS: Engagements

Linking with the Not Alone Series again :) 

Do you struggle with balancing the sting of hearing about yet another proposal with genuine excitement? What emotions come into play? What virtues do you enlist to deal with it all?

I often find it hard not to get bitter at other people's relationships. However, I find it a LOT easier to be excited for people when I avoid a few things: 
1) Facebook. I'm not saying I boycott it completely, but the more I get sucked into the virtual world of comparison, the more I put myself down. I need to check myself and make sure I'm not spending too much time looking at what other people have, especially because I have a ton of awesome things going for me right now! 
2) Too much self reflection. The times when I am looking too much into myself, and not enough at God and  the needs of those around me, I find that I am much less satisfied with my place in life. That is when I have the tendency to complain or become envious of others. I am the kind of person who LOVES analyzing myself, so this is a hard one for me. I often can become very much lost in my thoughts, which can sometimes lead to a downward spiral of emotions. On the flip side though, it helps me to be very aware how I react to things, and I can keep myself in check. It is a gift and a curse ;) 

And one more phrase that has been fueling me: Don't let anyone steal your joy. Someone once told me that my greatest attributes are how loving and caring I am, but I need to be careful not to let those go. They will be my greatest strengths one day. I need to hold onto them.

Obviously, I don't want to be bitter toward anyone engaged, so those are the few things I try to avoid. And of course, above all, remain rooted in prayer. I want to rejoice with my friends, not be secretly envious behind their backs. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

NAS: Beauty

Blogging back with the Not Alone Series this week! I have been sick, so that is why I am a day late with this post. (disclaimer: I am still pretty sick so forgive me if this is incoherent!)

This week topic is beauty. Always a good topic to discuss! I have really struggled with this, in seeing my own beauty. As someone who as struggled severely with body image in unhealthy ways, this is something that I have had to learn and am still trying to fully understand: the beauty of my self. I think it is something we can never fully comprehend, but it is something that I wish to know more about. 

One thing I had to learn was not to be afraid of being beautiful. I think because my beauty was misused in the past, it was something that I have tried to hide. I was uncomfortable with compliments even though I yearned for them so much. I always thought that being beautiful would lead me down a dark path. I have since learned though that beauty is a GOOD thing. And my concept of beauty, for too long, had only been on the surface. 

I learned that there is so much more to beauty. Beauty is kindness, gentleness, compassion. Beauty is the self-sacrificing love between two people. Beauty is service. Beauty is radiated through someone's smile. Beauty is found when we are being authentically ourselves. This is probably one of my favorite quotes about beauty that I just recently found (and already posted it  here on my blog) but I am going to do it again in case you missed it :) 

How profound is that? If we could really see ourselves through the eyes of others, through the eyes of Christ,  I think we would find ourselves to be much more beautiful than we think we are. If you think about it, the human person is so complex, so intricate, that it is beautiful in and of itself. There is so much depth to a person. The human person is beauty, because it is made in the image and likeness of God, and God is Beauty. Therefore, I am beautiful solely because I exist, but also in the ways that I am unique. The ways I am truly myself.  

I hope and pray that everyone may come to know how beautiful they truly are! Can't wait to read what everyone else has to say on this topic :) 

NAS- 2014

The Not Alone Series was on a holiday hiatus, so it is nice to be back blogging with Jen and Morgan and the gang!

*****
This week's topic is:

In what ways can you grow/stretch RIGHT NOW that could affect the whole of 2014?

This topic is similar to the "resolution" posts or "word of the year" posts, but go in whatever direction you'd like! How do you plan to live 2014 in the best way possible?

*****

I didn't really do a 2014 goal post, so this will kind of encompass all of those types of things :)

(1) I want to read more. And reallly read the things I am reading. I have gotten to the point where my brain is so active that I have a hard time really getting engrossed or captivated by the written word. Even books I want to read have a hard time keeping my focus. I am always thinking about anything and everything that I can't seem to quiet my mind enough to fill it with new things. I have the bad habit of skimming over paragraphs and not taking in what I am reading. I would like this to be the year where I finally write my book (or at least figure out what I am writing :p ), so my brain needs to develop more in this area and regain my ability to be quiet and focus. 

(2) With the above, I need to read the Bible more. During the period of my life where I was really struggling, reading the Bible was synonymous with breathing for me. It was a daily thing. I needed it. And now that my life is more stable, I have not been as dependent on it as I would like to be (or as I should be). I need to get back to making this a daily practice and learn to listen more to the Lord. 

(3) My "word of the year" seems to keep coming back to the word embrace. Embracing all of life's circumstances and especially, the emotions that come with them. I have the tendency to want to repress things like heartache or confusion or anger. Even sometimes my joy. I am trying to embrace those things and allow myself to feel them, but then learning to then give them over to the Lord and not dwelling on them. It has been interesting thus far, but very purifying and oddly freeing. 

Anyways, I am excited to read what everyone else has to say, and excited to be back with this series! Hope everyone has a great week! 

NAS: Fave single blogs

Linking up again over at Morgan's!

Share other single-person blogs or websites that you love! 

(or include posts/articles that you've enjoyed that pertain to the single life!)

One of my favorite blogs is Made in His Image. While it isn't specifically about being single, it has a lot about building up and healing women and helping us to realize our dignity! They do have posts here and there that are more about relationships, so if you have some time, I recommend looking through them. They recently started a men's portion which has been really interesting to read things from a guys point of view as well. They just posted this, which is  geared to men, but has a lot of good points about relationships: 

"From time to time, God allows us to be single. Being single isn’t being lonely or afraid, it is growing in holiness and learning to fall in love with God. "

Love that. 

I can't really think of many other posts off the top of my head. The ones I usually read are ones that I run into on Facebook that my friends have shared. Or ones that I find through all of you ladies in this series :) So thanks for spreading the love!

And for some single-ness humor, you can always count on buzzfeed.

Edit: I just found this post and thought it was great :) It is from http://spirituallysingle1.blogspot.com and about when God makes you wait. We all know how that can be!

NAS: Settling

No one would encourage you to "settle" in your relationships, but would you ever consider it?

Ah, the topic of settling. I am probably one of the biggest "anti-settling" advocates you will ever meet. I used to struggle with this lie that it was my fault I was single, and that maybe if I didn't have such high standards, that my life would be different. Well yea, it would be different... in a bad way.

I have been on dates with different guys over the past years that really liked me. And they were definitely ready to speed up the process and tie the knot. And they were good, Catholic men. So what was the problem? It just didn't feel right. I knew I couldn't force myself to settle just because the opportunity presented itself. There were times when I would sit there and think: I could probably marry this guy. I know he would take care of me, but would I be happy? The answer was always NO. Now, I am not throwing these guys under the bus, and I still keep in contact with them occasionally, but it just wasn't right. It wasn't in the Lord's plan for me. I felt bad that I couldn't just "like them" and move on with life, but there was just no peace. You can't force love.

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,

    do not stir up or awaken love

    until it is ready! - Song of Songs 8:4

This verse was always one that stuck out to me in these situations. As much as I wanted it to be, it wasn't my time. And now I am seeing more and more how fruitful those decisions were, and how much the Lord's plan has been coming to light in all of my waiting.

I truly believe that if we are following the Lord, and keeping in communication with Him, that He will lead our heart and its desires. So yes, have standards, but also listen to what your heart says. If you find yourself falling for a guy, and he is a good, moral man who will take care of you and cherish you, but maybe doesn't have all the checks on your 'list', maybe you just need to think about that list and what is really important. And look for peace. That is usually a good indication that you are on the right path.

I just stumbled across this blog post by Jackie Francois in my news feed. I think it was providential ;)
http://www.jackiefrancois.com/blog/the-devil-wants-you-to-settle-in-your-relationship/

You are all worth the wait :)

NAS: Patience

Linking up with the Not Alone Series again!

Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?

Patience is definitely something that I struggle with, especially when it comes to the unfolding of God's plan for my vocation! I have the tendency to think my life hasn't really begun unless I am fulfilling those desires. But this is where I am wrong, and where my trust falls short. I frequently need to check myself and make sure that I am not living too much in the future. When I do this, I become so focused on what is to come and less focused on living my life to the fullest in the present. My focus is taken off God and what He is doing in my life right here and right now. While day dreaming about our vocations is not a horrible thing in itself, it becomes toxic when we are living for the future. (My life will begin when...) 

Well, here is a newsflash for all of us: our lives have already begun! And they're awesome! 

I need to have that plastered across my mirror as much as anyone. For me, the cause of my impatience is a little different... (but still the same as we are all waiting as patiently as we can)... because I really want to be a nun. SO badly it hurts sometimes, as I'm sure it does for all of you yearning for husbands and families. But this is not in the Lord's plan for me right now. I still have loans to pay off, I have a job I am committed to, and the timing is just not right. It's hard when you see so clearly the end of the road, but are not sure how long the road is that lies between you and that destination. 

It is kind of like we are all taking a cross country road trip together, and want so badly just to speed through to our destination. But we need to savor in all the little pit stops along the way. Just think of how much we could be missing? I had an experience like this once... some friends and I were coming back to Ohio from a wedding in New York, and I just so desperately wanted to get home and get out of the car. We ended up having to get off the highway because of an accident ahead of us, and my friends saw an adorable little farmers market and insisted that we stop. I was not too please originally because I was set on just getting back, but it ended up being a ton of fun. This little experience taught me a lot though. They were simply enjoying each others company and the fun of the journey. 

I try to remember that experience in times of impatience. It is a good reminder to just sit back and enjoy the ride. That's not always easy when you've been 'driving' for years and don't even know when the road is ending, but it is always good to 'stop and smell the roses'. 

I read something once that said if you have to think about the future, think about it with Jesus in it. Imagine Him there, and it won't seem so daunting and distant. Because truly, He is with us every step of the way! 

I try to think of it too as I am learning how to be patient now so that I can grow in that virtue and have more of it to bring into my vocation. You can never have too much patience ;) 

Anyways, hope my ramblings make sense! I tend to think of more things as I write! Looking forward to reading all of your posts!

NAS: Fav recipes!

So I don't really ever have to cook for just myself, because I have moved back home and my mom cooks (even better), but when I do, here is my go-to:

I have been running a lot and trying to eat extra protein, so my favorite things is a bagel sandwich.
Toast the bagel, fry the egg, then melt Swiss cheese on the top, add some veggies (peppers, tomato, lettuce), and sometimes bacon. I also put a little cream cheese on the bagel as well before adding everything to it. I don't know why, but I just love these!

When I did live on my own though, I was a big fan of buying frozen chicken in bulk and then just taking out a piece or two and experimenting with different side dishes. Anything with black beans was always a winner :)

Anyways, that is all I've got for now. Looking forward to reading other recipes!

NAS: Survey!

Linking up with Jen and the other ladies again this week for the Not Alone Series!

About me: 

1. Age: 23!
2. Area of country: Good old Pittsburgh, home of the black and gold!
3. Are you working? If so, what do you do?: I work for the Capuchin Franciscan Friars doing development/fundraising work! And I am going to start doing photography and just started a Facebook page for them. It would be great if you would 'like' their page! They're wonderful holy men of God.  https://www.facebook.com/CapuchinFrairsofStAugustine
4. Family: I am the second oldest of 7 kids! It's a crazy but always fun household :) 

   

   From L-R: Me, JP (7), Michael (25), Rachel (10), Joe (20), Frannie (13) and Laura (17)
   
   
   

   

   The whole clan at Easter 
   
   
   

   In addition to 7 kids, we have 4 cats, a psycho dog, and a fish. I have to include a picture of my favorite kitty, Bella! Isn't she adorable? 

   
   

   

   
   

   So needless to say, my house is pretty hectic. But I wouldn't have it any other way!

5. How did your parents meet? My parents have actually known each other since like 1st grade. They went to the same elementary and high school, and their last names were right next to each other alphabetically, so my mom would always sit behind my dad in every class. In high school they started dating and have been now married 25 years!

   

   The units taking a selfie

6. Confirmation Saint? St. Catherine of Sienna! I actually picked her because she was the only saint I really knew about in 8th grade... I apparently wasn't properly catechized... or I just didn't pay attention in class.. but either way, I'm glad I chose her because she is AWESOME.
7. Favorite Gospel? My favorite Gospel is Matthew 14:25-31. This is the one when Jesus tells Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water toward Him. And then Peter starts freaking out and sinking, and Jesus immediately saves him. I identify a lot with Peter in this Gospel, which is probably why it is my favorite. 

   "25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”"

   
   
8. # of previous 'facebook official' relationships: Well if we are going FBO, then I guess only 1. But I have had many other guy 'flings' I guess you could call them.
9. Top 3 qualities in a husband: Strong, giving, Christ-like
10. Online dating experience? Advice?: Yes, I am on Catholic Match and have been for some time. I don't really go on very frequently though, and when I do, it is mostly just to check out the scene. My experience has never been quality, and usually I'll talk to a guy for a little and that's that. I guess it is good experience just to talk to them, but I have found that there are not entirely very many eligible guys on that site. Maybe that just happens to be the area that I am pulling from, but I have not really been satisfied with my online dating experience. I don't think it is a bad idea though, and God can definitely work through the modern technologies that are available to us. I know many other people though who are happily married to people they found online. So if you want to, go for it! There is a taboo about it, but why not try it? It might work for you, it might not. 
11. Advice for a single lady (in 140 characters!): Pursue Christ first and foremost and let everything else just fall into place.
12. What is your favorite thing outside of blogging and work/school?: I like running, reading good books, doing photography/photo-editing, enjoying nice quiet mornings before the family is awake, watching baseball (Pirates!), and just spending quality time with my siblings! 

NAS: The love of friendship

Linking up with the NAS

I have learned a lot about myself and how to love through my friendships. In college, I was privileged and blessed beyond belief to be a part of a household, which basically is Franciscan's version of sororities and fraternities with a Catholic twist. There are about 43 households, each based off a different virtue of aspect of our faith, and we sign a covenant, committing to live a faithful life and to help one another grow in holiness. My household is Regina Angelorum, or "Queen of the Angels", and my sisters and I would have weekly mass, rosary, holy hours, share groups, and other activities together.

Without a doubt, my best of friendships have come out of this group of women. Never in my life have I seen such real, authentic, raw, vulnerable human love. These friends sisters have stood by me through the thick and the thin. Through the moments where we laugh so hard our sides hurts, through praying with each other in our heartaches and tears during all hours of the night, through looking a sister in the eye and asking how she is really doing, through dragging one another to mass at 6:30 in the morning, through the moments where we are so lost in shadow and despair that nothing keeps us together except the love and prayers of our sisters. Through the excitements, the joys, the losses, the sharing of our hearts. This is the real love of friendship. And this love requires vulnerability. I would not have the beautiful relationships that I have if I had kept my heart enclosed for fear of it getting hurt again. I would not be the woman I am today without having friends who loved me enough to kick my butt and tell me when I was wrong or to encourage me when I was hesitantly walking the right path. I know that no matter what, no matter what time, no matter the distance, there are always 200+ women whom I am blessed to call sisters and who are always ready to love on each other. So to these beautiful women, wherever you are, thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved. Know that I hold you all in my heart.

Fight the good fight always

A bunch of sisters were visiting so of course we took a picture!

From retreat last spring

Thanksgiving party :)

A household sisters wedding in CT!

My two little sisters and I


And of course, our mother and her Son!

Cue the tears...

NAS: Envy and Singlehood

I've been taking a little hiatus from posting with the Not Alone Series because I didn't feel it was prudent for me to do so, but I have still been reading everyone's posts each week and really benefiting from the wonderful advice and insights from so many of you. So thank you! Unfortunately though, this weeks topic is something I need to write about because it is something that just popped onto my radar unexpectedly yesterday. I have been doing well lately and getting myself refocused on Christ and keeping my relationship 'status' if you will centered on Him, so this is something that I have thankfully not been struggling with too much recently. I have definitely had my moments, but the Lord has really been blessing me. I have been making a much greater effort to go to mass in the mornings at 6:30 before starting my day and WOW does that make a difference. Being filled with Him and His love is what I think keeps me together and focused.

But it's the little things that get to me sometimes. The little moments of "I don't have that..." that creep in unexpectedly, things you might not even think about. Like having someone to surprise you with coffee while you're at work. Or having someone to meet up with on your lunch break. Or having someone to go running with. I think it's these little things that I "envy" the most. They all kind of hit me yesterday because I would see other people having these moments that I wasn't having. I mean seriously, I have to walk across the street and get my own coffee! (I know, life is so hard haha).

But if I didn't have to "walk and get my own coffee" I would miss out on all the sights, sounds, and the chance to be outside for a brief 10 minutes when I'm constantly inside longing to be out in the fresh air. I would miss having the opportunity to talk to the people who work in the coffee shop and build relationships with them. If I didn't have to "run by myself" then I would miss out on having my little oasis, the freedom to just go and not having anyone holding me back or pushing me past my limits. I wouldn't have that space, that time where I feel completely and utterly free, just me and my thoughts... and for an introvert that is very important! I've come to the realization lately that I need to learn how to be me, and just me. Not me with anyone else. I don't mean this in a depressing way, but I need to stop living in waiting and stop looking at what other people have that I don't. I often find myself thinking of all the things I want to do when I have someone to do them with. Even though I am an introvert, I actually don't really like going places alone. (I'd much rather just sit at home alone where I am comfortable, but that's a different issue haha). I am learning to become me in the world and do the things I love doing. I am learning to take care of myself and make my own decisions, not in a "I don't need anyone" sort of way, but in an "I'm ok by myself" way.  And in reality, I'm not alone. I have friends, family, and above all my Jesus who continues to amaze me every day. So my first step in defeating envy, is to not be a lady in waiting. Of course I am anxiously awaiting the day my vocation will be revealed to me, but until then, I am not going to sit in a tower (like I feel I have been) and gaze longingly out the window at what everyone else has. I am going to live my life and embrace this time and become the woman I am created to be, and just roll with what life brings.

NAS: What I love about being single

I have to say that this topic came at perfect timing for me. I just last night had one of those dreams where you are married and have babies and then you wake up to reality... doesn't always put you in the best of moods to start your day! But I'm thankful for the ladies hosting this series because it is causing me to put those feelings aside and think about all the little things I love about my state in life. So without further ado:

What I love about being single

1. Practically speaking, I can focus on paying off all my student loans now so that when I am ready to move on to my next stage in life, I can do so debt free! That will be a huge blessing to not have those financial burdens later on.
   


2. I can hang out with these kids every free minute I can get:
   These are my 4 of my 6 siblings (I'm on the right). On Sunday we went to 7:30am mass and then spent all morning at the farm picking strawberries, and then went home and made delicious strawberry shortcake. I'm willing to bet that I probably wouldn't be able to go on all these fun outings with my family if I was off doing my own "non-single" things!
   


3. I can devote any other free time I have to doing things that I love: hanging out with good friends, catching up on all the books I've been meaning to read, taking millions of pictures and spending however long I need to editing them, playing music, laying out in the sun, blogging, going for runs, and just living life. My only time commitment right now is to my job (granted that takes up most of my time), but would I really even be able to have this wonderful job if I were busy raising a family? That answer is a big, fat no because I am definitely the stay-at-home mom type. And that will come in it's own time. But right now, I do enjoy spending my time how I feel is most rejuvenating and productive for me!
   


4. And most importantly, right now, it's just me and God. Not that I wouldn't love to have someone to pray with and to lead me, but I'll never get this precious time back. It is a great opportunity to work on my primary relationship with Him where all my other relationships should flow from. Having this time of healing and becoming more of myself through Him will build a solid foundation and enable me to be the best woman I can be in whatever vocation He brings me to. I won't always have the luxury of spending an hour in prayer if I need to or making the hour+ drive to Steubenville for Festivals of Praise once a month. Right now, it's about focusing my everything on Him and knowing that, in His time, His plan for me will continue to unfold. 

NAS: Prayer!

I'm joining up again with the "Not Alone Series" for this weeks topic on prayer!

Since starting a new full time job, I have found it incredibly difficult to keep consistency in my prayer life. I definitely feel the lack going from having the Sacraments available to me every day at Franciscan to struggling to find Adoration in my city. Not being able to go to mass daily has been difficult for me as well. I've had to learn to adapt in whatever way I can! It takes me about an hour to get to and from work every day, so I've taken that time to be the bulk of my prayer time: saying a Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet, or just talking to God about my day.

I've also noticed the profundity of the simple offerings that we give the Lord throughout our day. I think it is all too easy to beat myself up for not being able to squeeze mass and/or holy hours into my schedule but I need to remind myself that my whole day and life should be a prayer to Him. The simplest moments of thanks and praise for the little things in life mean the world to Jesus, and I need to not forget to include Him in my joys and struggles throughout the day!

One thing that I want to share (since this is a 'singleness' blog as well) that has been helpful to me in my spiritual journey is to have a "future husband journal". A friend suggested this to me and it has been really fun.  (Unfortunately I haven't written too much lately since I've been so busy!) I started writing things to my future spouse in a journal that I plan to give to him one day (or to give to the Lord if that is what He calls me to). But in it, I will write maybe something significant that happened in my prayer life that I would like to tell my husband, or if I am having a really rough day with the fact that he hasn't showed up yet, maybe I'll rant about that! (It's quite therapeutic...) Or I'll offer up small prayers or sacrifices during the week for our future marriage and/or children that I'll jot down in the journal as well. You can really make it whatever you would like. Just a small token that you can give to him one day that will show your journey with the Lord while waiting for him. It is really helpful because it makes the whole journey seem less ominous and more like it will actually come to a point someday. Who knows how long that will be, but it makes it seem more real. It also helps to keep me focused and a good reminder of what I am waiting and praying for!

One of my favorite prayers of all time is the poem by St. Anthony of Padua, "Be Satisfied With Me".
A lot of people just think of St. Anthony as being the one to help them find lost items, but this is probably one of the most beautiful things ever written. I'll close with this because nothing I can say afterwards can top it! Read it and weep :)

Be Satisfied with Me

by St. Anthony of Padua

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied

NAS: Discernment

Link up here :) 

I'm joining up with the "Not Alone Series" a week late so I'll give you all a little intro! My name is Maggie, and I graduated from Franciscan University in Steubenville in May 2012. After that was a CRAZY time of discernment which is why I wanted to join in on this weeks topic!

  A little more intro first though: I currently do development/fundraising work for Capuchin Franciscan Friars which is awesome. I love it. It keeps me busy (which is always helpful) and I'm "raking" in the dough so I can not be indebted to student loans for the rest of my life! Aaaaand I just moved back home with my family about a month ago. So clearly, I'm single. And this is my discernment story. [disclaimer: this might be a bit lengthy, so if you just want my advice without the back story, feel free to skip to the end, but that would be cheating ;) ] 

For my whole life (all 23 years of it), I was absolutely, 100% convinced that I am supposed to be married one day. It wasn't even a question for me. Besides the fact that I love babies, nuns scared the crap out of me. They were really quite terrifying (in my defense, there are some really cranky nuns out there!)

Senior year of college was coming to a close, and I was beginning to get discouraged by the fact that I wasn't dating anyone, while almost all of my closest friends had their weddings planned for that coming summer! (It's hard to go to a school like Franciscan where people regularly get married right out of college). Nevertheless, I was trying to truck through it, but still thinking about how I hadn't dated anyone in four years. I was also starting to be very unchaste in my emotions, and was having a hard time learning to just be friends with the men in my life and not look at them as potential spouses. I decided to take that summer after graduation to really work on my relationship with the Lord and learn  to be satisfied with Him alone.   

I had moved into a house in Steubenville with some of my closest friends and had a summer job at the University, so I was in a very good environment and in a prime spot for the Lord to start revealing His heart to me. I didn't want to feel that emptiness of not having someone in my life, so I pretty much told the Lord that He was going to have to pursue me like none other. And of course, He jumped at the invitation! He waits patiently to romance us... 

Slowly, I started falling in love with Him in ways I didn't know I could. One day, I even found myself thinking that in order for me to really show Jesus how much I love Him, that I should go on a vocations discernment retreat. [where the heck did that thought come from]. One of my friends happened to be going on one with the Franciscan TOR Sisters who are very involved at the University (and are a little less scary) so I decided, what the heck, I'll call the vocations director and see if there are any spots available. [At this point, still 100% sure I'm not supposed to be a nun, but thought I should just show the Lord that I was "willing" to do whatever He wanted!] So I make the phone call....Of course she asked where I was in my discernment, and I told her that I was just starting out. And then I asked her a question that changed my whole thought process: What are some usual signs or feelings that someone has who is called to religious life? And that's when I blanked out of the conversation.... Only because what she was saying spoke so perfectly to my heart. I can't even remember exactly what she said to me, but all I know is that I was left speechless. 

Needless to say, I went on the discernment retreat. 

{September 2012}

After that was a series of ups and downs. It was a roller coaster to say the least. The TOR sisters shattered every scary notion of a nun that I had in my brain. They are probably the farthest thing from scary actually. They are the most fun, real, incredible, holy group of women that I have ever met, and their charisms fit me like a glove. It would make complete sense for me to join their order. I loved everything about it. But something was still off. I wasn't fully convinced.  

I started going to spiritual direction around this time as well, and the priest I was going to told me that he wanted me to date... [Now I'm even more confused...and also, you can't just make guys date you! But that's another issue...] However, we both decided that I had no concept of what being in a holy, Catholic relationship was like, so in order to really discern religious life, I would need to fully know what I was giving up. [makes sense I suppose]. So this leaves me even more confused than before, wondering where I can possibly go from there. As the Lord would have it though, I end up going on a few 'dates' with some guy friends, and nothing really comes from any of those situations. So, thinking I gave it a fair try, I revisit the religious life issue. [If you're still reading, congrats on keeping up! We're almost done I promise!] 

After a few months of confusion, talking to different sisters, spirals, 180's, and many other events that I will keep out for the sake of time, I decided to take the next step in the discernment process and go on a come-and-see week with the TOR sisters. 

{May 2013}

This week was such a blessing to me, and exactly what I needed to do. I fell even more in love with the sisters and the Lord, and had one of the best weeks of my life. For me, I needed conviction and for the Lord to show me clearly if He wanted me to be there. Basically, I wanted Him to propose to me, like any other gentlemen would, if He wanted me to do that for Him. But the thing is, He didn't ask it of me. I struggled with this for a bit, wondering why He wouldn't "want me" or how he could possibly be calling me to marriage when religious life seems like such a higher calling. But through prayer and learning more and more about marriage, I know that to be not the case. I have so much peace knowing that I gave Him my all and showed Him that I would be willing to give everything for Him. I still don't know exactly where He wants me to go, TOR sisters or marriage, but I do know this: That no matter what, I will be happy. Only He knows which of those will make me the most happy and holy and glorify Him the most. That's ultimately the purpose of our vocations. 

So where does that leave me now? Single, loving the Lord, being satisfied with Him alone. Yes, there are good days and bad days where I just want to marry the first guy who is nice to me. But these are the times that shape us and make us better to be able to serve wherever He calls us.

My advice to anyone discerning: 

1. Ask the Lord to purse you. It will amaze you how much He loves!

2. Have a relationship with Him. Tell Him what your struggles and confusions are

3. If you can get a spiritual director, GET ONE. They are amazing.

4. Don't be afraid to try new things! The Lord won't make you do anything you don't want to do!

and most of all: 

5. Be open to whatever comes your way, and TRUST :) 

Thanks to the ladies who are hosting this series! I look forward to reading all of your articles on this as well!