Hebrews 12:1

"12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"

I am a runner.

I just started running ehhhh about a couple months ago. This is quite an accomplishment for me, because I used to be vehemently against running. Not that I didn't like it, but that I felt I could never be a runner. It was too hard, took too much effort, and I was lazy. But one day I snapped, and I put on my tennis shoes, ran the 1/2 mile around my block, and thought I was going to die on the side of the road. But for whatever reason I kept going. Now 25 runs and 71.4 miles later, I am a runner. I run at least 3 times a week, and average about 4-5 miles per trip. [[Who would have ever thought I would be posting about running??]]

There is something in particular though that strikes me every time I run. Without fail, the first mile or two are torturous. Absolutely brutal. My body is cramping, my lungs are struggling to keep up with how much oxygen I need, and through the music in my headphones, I hear my mind telling me to give up, stop running, this is too hard, you can't do it, it's not worth it.  And oh man, do I want to stop running. But, being the crazy Catholic that I am, I spiritualize everything. And as I am running and fighting with myself, I think about our spiritual lives. How often on our paths to purification do we want to give up because it is too hard? How often do we want to just listen to our bodies and let them dictate our actions? Allowing the Lord to heal our brokenness can be scary and painful. Being a Christian is hard sometimes. It may seem easier to just give in to temptation. The devil is constantly whispering give up, stop trying, this is too hard, you can't do it, it's not worth it. But it is so worth it. Because once you get passed the initial hurdles, it is smooth sailing. The endorphins kick in, your breathing finally regulates itself, your muscles are no longer tense, and you are flying down the pavement with the wind hitting your face, and you feel free. Once you allow the Lord to begin healing you and taking control of your life, once you give everything over to Him, only then can freedom be found.

So when it gets tough, ask Jesus to run with you. Ask Him to hold your hand and pull you through. And if you need Him to, I bet He would be even willing to carry you. (Trust me, He has had a lot of practice). Yes it may be hard, yes it may hurt, but if life is a race and Heaven is the finish line, I want to be sprinting full speed ahead, not stopping, not giving up, keeping my eyes fixed on the prize set before me, throwing aside all sin that might hinder me, and running with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.

Fight the good fight always.

7 Quick takes {2}

I haven't done Quick Takes in a while, but I am hoping to get started up again!!

--- 1 ---

First of all, this is potentially going to be very difficult to type... my keyboard is wireless and will randomly stop working. I usually just pick it up and shake it and that usually does the trick :)

--- 2 ---

Yesterday was the Assumption of Mary! And since I resisted the urge to tell everyone my usual joke for that feast day, I'm going to have to do so now. It goes a little something like this: "You know what happens when you assume.... Mary goes into heaven!!"  I know, it's lame. But gets me every time!

--- 3 ---

Along the lines of yesterday being a major feast day in the Catholic Church --> I got the day off! One of the many perks of working for the Capuchin Friars is that I get off on major feast days such as the Assumption. I decided to spend my time wisely and drive an hour to Steubenville to see some of my lovely friends from Franciscan U. I got there on Wednesday night so we went out for dinner and drinks, and Thursday was spent going to mass and having wonderful, grace-filled conversations and seeing so many beautiful faces!

Me and two household sisters :)

--- 4 ---

Our church is undergoing renovations, and it has been decided that our tabernacle will be redone. So I had to take a picture of this gem, because the 70's 'wheel of fortune' will be no more! I'm kind of sad to see it go, but it's probably about time....bittersweet....

Note the wheat coming out like rays... I'm kind of weirdly fond of it...

--- 5 ---

Back-tracking a tad. While I was in Steubenville, I helped my friend Kimmy reorganize her room and also create a "Sacred space". It was a lot of fun and I wish I had taken a picture of the final product! It was a good reminder that we should have some place set aside for prayer. And now I'm inspired to do some re-designing of my own!
For those of you who want details of how to make your own: Basically, it consists of a table of some kind in your room (like an end table) or in this case, a small bookshelf that we put on its side. Then we draped a scarf over top of it (red for mercy) and placed a picture of Jesus, a rosary, and a candle on top of it. Then since the shelf was sideways, there were little cubbies underneath that we put other pictures and books in. It was quite lovely when it was finished!

--- 6 ---

I am going to Kennywood tonight (an amusement park) to watch my sister and the high school band play in the parade there. I used to work there for 3 years and have not gone back since because I was so done with the place. But this should be interesting. I am excited though to go and take pictures of her and watch her perform! She is a senior trumpet this year, and I am very proud of her.

--- 7 ---

If you have never watched the literal Harry Potter trailer on YouTube, YOU NEED TO. I guess only if you like Harry Potter though. But it is hilarious and I am not sure why I just thought of it. I plan to go watch it shortly after I post this. I could use a good laugh! And it will probably be more amusing to me than normal because I am all hyped up on allergy medicine....

Have a blessed day! Thanks for reading!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

NAS: Envy and Singlehood

I've been taking a little hiatus from posting with the Not Alone Series because I didn't feel it was prudent for me to do so, but I have still been reading everyone's posts each week and really benefiting from the wonderful advice and insights from so many of you. So thank you! Unfortunately though, this weeks topic is something I need to write about because it is something that just popped onto my radar unexpectedly yesterday. I have been doing well lately and getting myself refocused on Christ and keeping my relationship 'status' if you will centered on Him, so this is something that I have thankfully not been struggling with too much recently. I have definitely had my moments, but the Lord has really been blessing me. I have been making a much greater effort to go to mass in the mornings at 6:30 before starting my day and WOW does that make a difference. Being filled with Him and His love is what I think keeps me together and focused.

But it's the little things that get to me sometimes. The little moments of "I don't have that..." that creep in unexpectedly, things you might not even think about. Like having someone to surprise you with coffee while you're at work. Or having someone to meet up with on your lunch break. Or having someone to go running with. I think it's these little things that I "envy" the most. They all kind of hit me yesterday because I would see other people having these moments that I wasn't having. I mean seriously, I have to walk across the street and get my own coffee! (I know, life is so hard haha).

But if I didn't have to "walk and get my own coffee" I would miss out on all the sights, sounds, and the chance to be outside for a brief 10 minutes when I'm constantly inside longing to be out in the fresh air. I would miss having the opportunity to talk to the people who work in the coffee shop and build relationships with them. If I didn't have to "run by myself" then I would miss out on having my little oasis, the freedom to just go and not having anyone holding me back or pushing me past my limits. I wouldn't have that space, that time where I feel completely and utterly free, just me and my thoughts... and for an introvert that is very important! I've come to the realization lately that I need to learn how to be me, and just me. Not me with anyone else. I don't mean this in a depressing way, but I need to stop living in waiting and stop looking at what other people have that I don't. I often find myself thinking of all the things I want to do when I have someone to do them with. Even though I am an introvert, I actually don't really like going places alone. (I'd much rather just sit at home alone where I am comfortable, but that's a different issue haha). I am learning to become me in the world and do the things I love doing. I am learning to take care of myself and make my own decisions, not in a "I don't need anyone" sort of way, but in an "I'm ok by myself" way.  And in reality, I'm not alone. I have friends, family, and above all my Jesus who continues to amaze me every day. So my first step in defeating envy, is to not be a lady in waiting. Of course I am anxiously awaiting the day my vocation will be revealed to me, but until then, I am not going to sit in a tower (like I feel I have been) and gaze longingly out the window at what everyone else has. I am going to live my life and embrace this time and become the woman I am created to be, and just roll with what life brings.

"Then come receive Me..."

I was in Adoration yesterday, and I was discussing  complaining to the Lord about how I haven't been feeling as passionate about my prayer and my love for Him. I know our prayer life can't be based off feelings, which is why I have been trying to push through this dry spell, but the feelings are definitely nice and helpful! Being the mental health major that I am, I was racking my brain trying to figure out the source of this, and why the passion has been sucked out of my relationship with the Lord. Not a second after I thought, Lord, I just can't figure out where this is coming from, I heard His reply in the depths of my heart:

 "Then come receive Me"  

I was floored. I couldn't believe that I hadn't realized it sooner. How can I expect there to be passion in my relationship with the Lord without the intimacy of receiving Him in the Eucharist? I went from going to daily mass at Franciscan to just going on Sundays since I have been adjusting to my full-time job for the past 3 months. It's no wonder that I have been feeling this lack. And oh, how I have been feeling it. Just as any relationship requires intimacy, our relationships with the Lord of our hearts requires the greatest intimacy. Receiving Him in the Eucharist is the most intimate encounter we can have with Him, as we receive Him into our bodies, hearts, and souls and become one with Him. Here in this place, we are vulnerable, exposed, open to having our hearts radically changed by His presence, His love, His very Being. I know everyone may be different, but I want that more than just one day a week. I want that every day of my life. I want that Love to transform me, to heal me, to live in me. Realistically there may be days where I just can't get it together, but I'm sure as heck going to get to that church as often as I can!

So without a second thought, my alarm rang at 5:40 this morning, and I pleasantly jumped out of bed, eager to attend this Heavenly banquet. Off I went at 6:20, and mass was beautiful magnificent  glorious. (As if it would be anything less!) And I even had time to go to my favorite coffee shop before hitting the road to get to work. And it's pay-day. And I'm going to the Pirate game tonight.

Thank's Lord :)

Remember Lot's wife...

I've been doing a 'Bible study' of sorts with She Reads Truth which sends you the Scripture and a reflection in your inbox. Very cool and convenient :) This particular study is about Women in the Bible. Even though I have heard all of these stories before, they seem to have come at a perfect time where I needed to be reminded of them the most.

One of the women I am doing my best to learn from is Sarai, Abraham's wife (later to be known as Sarah). For whatever reason, the Lord made it impossible for her to get pregnant. She and Abram lived their married life without conceiving. And she got tired of waiting on the Lord, so sent her servant Hagar to conceive with Abram so that they could have a son to carry on their family. Now, this isn't really the typical way things happen these days, but much can be learned from this situation. Because in the end, Hagar was resentful toward Sarai and no one was really happy with what happened. It was just bad news. Eventually Hagar and her son even got sent into the desert... but that is more to the story you can read in Genesis! 

So what is my point here? Sometimes we get tired of waiting on the Lord and don't understand what the heck He is doing, so we try to take matters into our own hands. I am guilty of doing this occasionally all the time. I get frustrated, I get tired of waiting to see what He is going to do, and so I try to do things on my own...and let me tell you, it never ends well. So I'm trying to learn from Sarai's impatience and try to be more trusting. But hey, in the end, God still loved Sarah and gave her a son in her old age. Good things come to those who wait! 

The second woman I am learning from is Lot's wife. I can't remember if the poor woman's name was ever mentioned, but almost everyone knows the story of the woman who turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back on her home being destroyed when she was specifically told not to. Even though the Lord saved their family from destruction and called them out of the city, she still looked back. Now typically whole cities these days are not lit up and bombed by the Heavens. But what do Sodom and Gomorrah represent? They represent sin, evil, immorality...all the crap in our past that maybe we are still holding on to. Maybe we look back because we are still struggling, maybe the temptation is too strong for us, maybe we look back because we just aren't ready to let go, and maybe we aren't as strongly focused on the Lord as we should be. Because if we were really walking in trust with Him, we wouldn't want to look back. We would know the Glory that awaits us if we were to keep pressing onward and not look back on our own Sodom and Gomorrah. When He calls us in His mercy from a life of sin, we need to run straight to Him, never looking back. 

"Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it." -Luke 17: 32-33

Blogloving

You can now follow me on bloglovin!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Wanting to be normal in an abnormal world

I just want to be normal.

This is something that I often (and I would venture to say many people) am tempted to think. On those days where I feel like I have this giant weight over my shoulders, or those times when I feel like I have too many problems to count, I find myself sighing these words and just wishing I could be "normal". I wish I could eat like a normal person and not have anxiety about calories....I wish my skin would be normal and not have these breakouts....Why am I not married like normal people my age? (might not necessarily be true, but if all of your friends have went to Franciscan it's pretty accurate!) ...Why can't my life be more normal??!

Well I'm convinced that no one is completely normal, and I'm sure everyone, at one point or another, has wanted to be "normal like everyone else". (As I'm typing this, the font size is "normal".... Who decided that this would be the normal font size anyways? But I digress.) Even though some things may be quantified as 'normal' such as blood pressure or other standard measurements, 'normal' is something that can be very relative. What's normal for me might not be normal for someone else. For arguments sake (and to satisfy my curiosity) I decided to look up the meaning of the word normal:

1. according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle
2. conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3. occurring naturally 
4. of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development
5. free from mental disorder : sane

So yea, based off these definitions, it's no wonder that people want to be normal. Sounds great right? However, what is normal for society today? In a world that is so divided on every issue, a world that is full of people of different faiths, cultures, ways of living, how can there possibly be a norm? Even though all these difference exist, our world still tries to tell us how to be normal. "Normal" nowadays is doing whatever your body tells you is pleasurable, obtaining all the latest technologies, being too cool for morality, and while you're at it, dieting, exercising, and being as close to a size 0 as possible. At least this is what the media and celebrities are constantly portraying as 'normal' and what everyone should be striving for. (Although we all know celebrities don't live normal lives ;p ) You see it on magazine covers in grocery stores, commercials, billboards, you name it. Especially as a woman, this can be very difficult. Whether it be my desire to have children or wanting to be physically attractive and well liked, it can be hard to steer away from the temptation to not wait until marriage or to be overly critical of my appearance. So what is a girl to do in this situation? Well, there is the option of giving into my bodily desires, maybe having more 'fun' at the time, and not allowing myself to eat desserts (for lack of a better metaphor), but in reality enslaving myself in chains to my flesh, not really living, and probably racking up years worth of emotional baggage....(doesn't sound too appealing) OR I can look to the cross and cling to Christ in every moment where I feel that I am at my weakest. I can lean on Him for support and find my strength in His gaze. The other things that we do to try to feel 'normal' really only satisfy that feeling for a short amount of time, and sooner or later, those feelings are going to come swirling back. Only in Christ can you really find that fulfillment, that love to fill the holes in your heart. Instead of looking to the mirror of this world to find normalcy, let's look to the mirror that can be found in the cross, and see ourselves in His eyes.

So to the world, eh, I don't want to be normal. But to Jesus, I want to be a normal face that sees and loves Him every day, striving to find my identity in Him alone. And He wants the same for you.


"Look into this mirror every day, O queen, spouse of Jesus Christ, and continually examine your face in it, so that in this way you may adorn yourself completely, inwardly and outwardly, clothed and covered in multicolored apparel, adorned in the same manner with flowers and garments made of all the virtues as is proper. . . . Moreover, in this mirror shine blessed poverty, holy humility, and charity beyond words, as you will be able, with God's grace, to contemplate throughout the entire mirror." -St. Clare of Assisi