Remember Lot's wife...

I've been doing a 'Bible study' of sorts with She Reads Truth which sends you the Scripture and a reflection in your inbox. Very cool and convenient :) This particular study is about Women in the Bible. Even though I have heard all of these stories before, they seem to have come at a perfect time where I needed to be reminded of them the most.

One of the women I am doing my best to learn from is Sarai, Abraham's wife (later to be known as Sarah). For whatever reason, the Lord made it impossible for her to get pregnant. She and Abram lived their married life without conceiving. And she got tired of waiting on the Lord, so sent her servant Hagar to conceive with Abram so that they could have a son to carry on their family. Now, this isn't really the typical way things happen these days, but much can be learned from this situation. Because in the end, Hagar was resentful toward Sarai and no one was really happy with what happened. It was just bad news. Eventually Hagar and her son even got sent into the desert... but that is more to the story you can read in Genesis! 

So what is my point here? Sometimes we get tired of waiting on the Lord and don't understand what the heck He is doing, so we try to take matters into our own hands. I am guilty of doing this occasionally all the time. I get frustrated, I get tired of waiting to see what He is going to do, and so I try to do things on my own...and let me tell you, it never ends well. So I'm trying to learn from Sarai's impatience and try to be more trusting. But hey, in the end, God still loved Sarah and gave her a son in her old age. Good things come to those who wait! 

The second woman I am learning from is Lot's wife. I can't remember if the poor woman's name was ever mentioned, but almost everyone knows the story of the woman who turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back on her home being destroyed when she was specifically told not to. Even though the Lord saved their family from destruction and called them out of the city, she still looked back. Now typically whole cities these days are not lit up and bombed by the Heavens. But what do Sodom and Gomorrah represent? They represent sin, evil, immorality...all the crap in our past that maybe we are still holding on to. Maybe we look back because we are still struggling, maybe the temptation is too strong for us, maybe we look back because we just aren't ready to let go, and maybe we aren't as strongly focused on the Lord as we should be. Because if we were really walking in trust with Him, we wouldn't want to look back. We would know the Glory that awaits us if we were to keep pressing onward and not look back on our own Sodom and Gomorrah. When He calls us in His mercy from a life of sin, we need to run straight to Him, never looking back. 

"Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it." -Luke 17: 32-33

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Wanting to be normal in an abnormal world

I just want to be normal.

This is something that I often (and I would venture to say many people) am tempted to think. On those days where I feel like I have this giant weight over my shoulders, or those times when I feel like I have too many problems to count, I find myself sighing these words and just wishing I could be "normal". I wish I could eat like a normal person and not have anxiety about calories....I wish my skin would be normal and not have these breakouts....Why am I not married like normal people my age? (might not necessarily be true, but if all of your friends have went to Franciscan it's pretty accurate!) ...Why can't my life be more normal??!

Well I'm convinced that no one is completely normal, and I'm sure everyone, at one point or another, has wanted to be "normal like everyone else". (As I'm typing this, the font size is "normal".... Who decided that this would be the normal font size anyways? But I digress.) Even though some things may be quantified as 'normal' such as blood pressure or other standard measurements, 'normal' is something that can be very relative. What's normal for me might not be normal for someone else. For arguments sake (and to satisfy my curiosity) I decided to look up the meaning of the word normal:

1. according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle
2. conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3. occurring naturally 
4. of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development
5. free from mental disorder : sane

So yea, based off these definitions, it's no wonder that people want to be normal. Sounds great right? However, what is normal for society today? In a world that is so divided on every issue, a world that is full of people of different faiths, cultures, ways of living, how can there possibly be a norm? Even though all these difference exist, our world still tries to tell us how to be normal. "Normal" nowadays is doing whatever your body tells you is pleasurable, obtaining all the latest technologies, being too cool for morality, and while you're at it, dieting, exercising, and being as close to a size 0 as possible. At least this is what the media and celebrities are constantly portraying as 'normal' and what everyone should be striving for. (Although we all know celebrities don't live normal lives ;p ) You see it on magazine covers in grocery stores, commercials, billboards, you name it. Especially as a woman, this can be very difficult. Whether it be my desire to have children or wanting to be physically attractive and well liked, it can be hard to steer away from the temptation to not wait until marriage or to be overly critical of my appearance. So what is a girl to do in this situation? Well, there is the option of giving into my bodily desires, maybe having more 'fun' at the time, and not allowing myself to eat desserts (for lack of a better metaphor), but in reality enslaving myself in chains to my flesh, not really living, and probably racking up years worth of emotional baggage....(doesn't sound too appealing) OR I can look to the cross and cling to Christ in every moment where I feel that I am at my weakest. I can lean on Him for support and find my strength in His gaze. The other things that we do to try to feel 'normal' really only satisfy that feeling for a short amount of time, and sooner or later, those feelings are going to come swirling back. Only in Christ can you really find that fulfillment, that love to fill the holes in your heart. Instead of looking to the mirror of this world to find normalcy, let's look to the mirror that can be found in the cross, and see ourselves in His eyes.

So to the world, eh, I don't want to be normal. But to Jesus, I want to be a normal face that sees and loves Him every day, striving to find my identity in Him alone. And He wants the same for you.


"Look into this mirror every day, O queen, spouse of Jesus Christ, and continually examine your face in it, so that in this way you may adorn yourself completely, inwardly and outwardly, clothed and covered in multicolored apparel, adorned in the same manner with flowers and garments made of all the virtues as is proper. . . . Moreover, in this mirror shine blessed poverty, holy humility, and charity beyond words, as you will be able, with God's grace, to contemplate throughout the entire mirror." -St. Clare of Assisi 

NAS: What I love about being single

I have to say that this topic came at perfect timing for me. I just last night had one of those dreams where you are married and have babies and then you wake up to reality... doesn't always put you in the best of moods to start your day! But I'm thankful for the ladies hosting this series because it is causing me to put those feelings aside and think about all the little things I love about my state in life. So without further ado:

What I love about being single

1. Practically speaking, I can focus on paying off all my student loans now so that when I am ready to move on to my next stage in life, I can do so debt free! That will be a huge blessing to not have those financial burdens later on.
   


2. I can hang out with these kids every free minute I can get:
   These are my 4 of my 6 siblings (I'm on the right). On Sunday we went to 7:30am mass and then spent all morning at the farm picking strawberries, and then went home and made delicious strawberry shortcake. I'm willing to bet that I probably wouldn't be able to go on all these fun outings with my family if I was off doing my own "non-single" things!
   


3. I can devote any other free time I have to doing things that I love: hanging out with good friends, catching up on all the books I've been meaning to read, taking millions of pictures and spending however long I need to editing them, playing music, laying out in the sun, blogging, going for runs, and just living life. My only time commitment right now is to my job (granted that takes up most of my time), but would I really even be able to have this wonderful job if I were busy raising a family? That answer is a big, fat no because I am definitely the stay-at-home mom type. And that will come in it's own time. But right now, I do enjoy spending my time how I feel is most rejuvenating and productive for me!
   


4. And most importantly, right now, it's just me and God. Not that I wouldn't love to have someone to pray with and to lead me, but I'll never get this precious time back. It is a great opportunity to work on my primary relationship with Him where all my other relationships should flow from. Having this time of healing and becoming more of myself through Him will build a solid foundation and enable me to be the best woman I can be in whatever vocation He brings me to. I won't always have the luxury of spending an hour in prayer if I need to or making the hour+ drive to Steubenville for Festivals of Praise once a month. Right now, it's about focusing my everything on Him and knowing that, in His time, His plan for me will continue to unfold. 

Five Favorites Volume 1!

Joining Hallie for this fun linkup!

{1} Priests

First of all, priests are my favorite. Since Father's Day was this past weekend, I was thinking a lot about the Spiritual fathers in my life and how wonderful they are! I also went to a diaconate ordination where all the diocesan priests were present and it was really beautiful to see all of them. I'm just so thankful for the priesthood and all that priests do for us! Here is one of my favorite Friars and I on a retreat last year:

{2} Nike+ running

I recently started using the Nike+running app on my new phone, and I love it! Up until now, I haven't been much of a runner (in fact, I hated it with a passion) but it's always been on my "list of things to start doing". I've only started a couple weeks ago but so far have been running 3 times a week and this app helps me track my mileage and increases my goals for me. It also maps out my route with a GPS so I can track where I ran as well! It somehow makes it more exciting for me. I highly suggest it if you're into running!

{3} SOUP

I had really delicious potato soup for lunch yesterday so I'm gonna have to say that it is one of my favorites. Definitely was a good pick-me-up for the middle of the work day!

{4} "Oceans" by Hillsong

This song is on repeat on my Ipod lately. I can't get enough of it! 

{5} New Twitter ministry!

Called "Chains Be Broken". Something I'm just starting and so far have 15 followers. I would love more though! Dedicated to spreading Truth throughout social media, especially using Scripture. I'm really excited about it and praying that the Lord sends me more followers if it is of His will! Check it out and spread the Word :) 

https://twitter.com/rhema_setfree

NAS: Prayer!

I'm joining up again with the "Not Alone Series" for this weeks topic on prayer!

Since starting a new full time job, I have found it incredibly difficult to keep consistency in my prayer life. I definitely feel the lack going from having the Sacraments available to me every day at Franciscan to struggling to find Adoration in my city. Not being able to go to mass daily has been difficult for me as well. I've had to learn to adapt in whatever way I can! It takes me about an hour to get to and from work every day, so I've taken that time to be the bulk of my prayer time: saying a Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet, or just talking to God about my day.

I've also noticed the profundity of the simple offerings that we give the Lord throughout our day. I think it is all too easy to beat myself up for not being able to squeeze mass and/or holy hours into my schedule but I need to remind myself that my whole day and life should be a prayer to Him. The simplest moments of thanks and praise for the little things in life mean the world to Jesus, and I need to not forget to include Him in my joys and struggles throughout the day!

One thing that I want to share (since this is a 'singleness' blog as well) that has been helpful to me in my spiritual journey is to have a "future husband journal". A friend suggested this to me and it has been really fun.  (Unfortunately I haven't written too much lately since I've been so busy!) I started writing things to my future spouse in a journal that I plan to give to him one day (or to give to the Lord if that is what He calls me to). But in it, I will write maybe something significant that happened in my prayer life that I would like to tell my husband, or if I am having a really rough day with the fact that he hasn't showed up yet, maybe I'll rant about that! (It's quite therapeutic...) Or I'll offer up small prayers or sacrifices during the week for our future marriage and/or children that I'll jot down in the journal as well. You can really make it whatever you would like. Just a small token that you can give to him one day that will show your journey with the Lord while waiting for him. It is really helpful because it makes the whole journey seem less ominous and more like it will actually come to a point someday. Who knows how long that will be, but it makes it seem more real. It also helps to keep me focused and a good reminder of what I am waiting and praying for!

One of my favorite prayers of all time is the poem by St. Anthony of Padua, "Be Satisfied With Me".
A lot of people just think of St. Anthony as being the one to help them find lost items, but this is probably one of the most beautiful things ever written. I'll close with this because nothing I can say afterwards can top it! Read it and weep :)

Be Satisfied with Me

by St. Anthony of Padua

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied

What I wore Sunday {1}

I've never done this link-up before, but my good friend Natalie does it frequently and it looks like fun! I especially wanted to do this Sunday because I was wearing one of my favorite dresses :) 

This past weekend, one of my family's good friends became a permanent Deacon and so Sunday was his first mass at my parish. It was very exciting and  beautiful mass. But here is what we are all interested in for now! The outfit!

(sorry the picture seems to be not working....)

Picture courtesy of my new Iphone :)

The dress is one of my favorites: A one shoulder with ruffles on the top and an adorable belt. Can't remember exactly where I got it, but I assume Kohl's because its basically the only place I shop!

The sweater: from the best place, my sisters closet! Free and convenient :)

Shoes: Tan wedges from Payless 

The sweater makes it more presentable for mass, and then it turns into a great party dress without the sweater! Love it :)