Wednesday, October 30, 2013

NAS: Settling

No one would encourage you to "settle" in your relationships, but would you ever consider it?

Ah, the topic of settling. I am probably one of the biggest "anti-settling" advocates you will ever meet. I used to struggle with this lie that it was my fault I was single, and that maybe if I didn't have such high standards, that my life would be different. Well yea, it would be different... in a bad way.

I have been on dates with different guys over the past years that really liked me. And they were definitely ready to speed up the process and tie the knot. And they were good, Catholic men. So what was the problem? It just didn't feel right. I knew I couldn't force myself to settle just because the opportunity presented itself. There were times when I would sit there and think: I could probably marry this guy. I know he would take care of me, but would I be happy? The answer was always NO. Now, I am not throwing these guys under the bus, and I still keep in contact with them occasionally, but it just wasn't right. It wasn't in the Lord's plan for me. I felt bad that I couldn't just "like them" and move on with life, but there was just no peace. You can't force love.

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    do not stir up or awaken love
    until it is ready! - Song of Songs 8:4

This verse was always one that stuck out to me in these situations. As much as I wanted it to be, it wasn't my time. And now I am seeing more and more how fruitful those decisions were, and how much the Lord's plan has been coming to light in all of my waiting.

I truly believe that if we are following the Lord, and keeping in communication with Him, that He will lead our heart and its desires. So yes, have standards, but also listen to what your heart says. If you find yourself falling for a guy, and he is a good, moral man who will take care of you and cherish you, but maybe doesn't have all the checks on your 'list', maybe you just need to think about that list and what is really important. And look for peace. That is usually a good indication that you are on the right path.

I just stumbled across this blog post by Jackie Francois in my news feed. I think it was providential ;)

You are all worth the wait :)


  1. Great insights, Maggie. Great to meet you yesterday.

    1. Thank you Mark! It was good meeting you as well

  2. thanks for bringing in that scripture magels!

    1. you're welcome! literally, every time I thought it was time for me to be dating someone or I went on a date with a guy and wasn't sure, that scripture would come it. it has stalked me!